Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
