Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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