Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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