she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
