he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
