If i come over, it means nothing
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
