we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
