I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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