I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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