David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
