This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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