quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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