I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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