High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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