it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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