Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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