matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
