Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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