Need sex. Gaining weight.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
