it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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