If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
