you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
