Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
