the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
