Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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