I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
