I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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