Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
