K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
