I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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