Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
