Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
