In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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