Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I believe in your delicious
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
