Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
