the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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