I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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