I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
