Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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