Even the bartender felt bad for me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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