3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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