Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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