i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
