He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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