Don't make out with my wife yet
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
