My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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