have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
