Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
