are you still at the devil's house?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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