Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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