Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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