I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
